Cacophony of Voices

Now, where to begin? 2022 was definitely a year. Saying that 2022 was my year is unfair. The amount of setbacks and obstacles I had to go through was surely the reason why. Problem here, trial there—it certainly made me think and ponder why this is happening to me and what this is trying to teach me. This may not be the best year I have gone through in my entire life, but the memories and lessons it left me will surely make it one of the most remarkable years of my life.

 

I must say that New Year's wishes and resolutions do not suit me well. Even if I created as many of these, I would still go back to being the same person I was before. My optimistic side and my pessimistic side, unfortunately, will always be in tact with me. But in this year, I have realized that there are several things I need, not just want, to change in me. One, I am fond of procrastinating all my assigned activities and requirements. I get lazy about accomplishing them, gaslighting myself into thinking I can do all of those in just one sitting. Of course, I find it difficult to chase all requirements, but I think the pressure encourages me to finish them instantly. This is one of the characteristics I want to modify, in view of the fact that this would give me no benefit at all. My procrastinator persona will continue if I do not create a way to stop it. Second, sometimes I find it hard to concentrate on accomplishing something, so I would not be able to finish it on time. With the tons of distractions I have in mind, my brittle sense of focus will soon be sabotaged. In 2023, I would also like to change this for the better and try not to be attracted by distractions. And lastly, I realized that I let others define who I am today. I listened to every opinion of others regarding how I was doing and how I should live my life, and I slowly realized that it was choking me. I was choked by the fact that I let them control my own life. Upon reflecting, I have realized that I am not like everyone, so everyone does not like me. I realized that I am not born to please everyone and that I am slowly turning into a puppet in their own hands. This was one of the biggest mistakes of my life, and I am starting to wonder how my life would be if I had not listened to every remark that they have made. Thankfully, I have seen this sooner than expected. I am trying my best to eradicate this side of me, but I think that some part of it is still inside me. Changing this persona of mine is at the top of my bucket list, hoping for a better version of me.

 

To sum it all up, 2022 was a real game-changer. This rollercoaster ride was filled with roses and thorns, and yet I am grateful for every second of it, because without these ups and downs, I would never acquire the lessons that helped me be the version of myself standing in front of everyone today. Within this body is a splendid personality, wanting to change several parts of me. Again, as another year has passed, I would like to try again to resolve these shortcomings and change these unlikeable sides of me. With these in mind, I will be ready to face another war waiting for me, with the lessons I have acquired as my weapons in slaying every beast. I would never let myself commit the same mistakes again, especially in letting others' opinions dictate how I would live life again. Cheers, 2022! May I never hear the same cacophony of voices again.